Am I dreaming? Sadly, no...This is really happening!

I fell asleep on the living room floor again when I came to...

"Where's the stick with the pineapple on it?" I demanded to know.

{{Blank faced husband}}

"Where's the stick with the banana on it?" I really needed to know where this fruit was apparently.

Hubs said, "What the eff are you talking about?"

"YOU KNOW..."

It was about 10:30 pm or later, I can't recall.

Pinterest: Cup magnetized to frig. Taking Note...

The toddler then asked for water and I stormed off to the kitchen to grab it from the refrigerator. I usually prepare sippy cups with milk and water at night for the following day. This time I hadn't.

So picture me: Half asleep, grabbing a sippy cup lid and attempting to jam the rubber stopper thing in the right holes. I fill the cup (or so I thought) then proceed to lose the damn thing before I can get the lid on it. Like, it just vanished y'all.

The baby was standing there just waiting for his water. I looked everywhere for this cup and the baby ran away. I insisted that it was he who hid it. I was yelling at this point. At him. I was yelling at a 2-year old. His idea of hiding objects is sitting on it while half the object sticks out from beneath his tiny ass.

"Where the fuck did he put it?" I was demanding by this point. Seriously, the hell?

The husband comes to help me (I must mention that he's sick and wrapped in a blanket on the couch wearing my sock monkey slippers to keep warm) and almost falls on the water spill I created in front of the frig. Then he begins to yell at me and frantically looks for the phantom fucking cup of water without a cap on it.

Then...I look over at the thing I put the cups on after they're washed so they can dry and notice two cups but only one lid. Had I really been standing at the refrigerator filling up just the lid? Indeed. It would explain the spill.

Embarrassed now, and an angry husband lurking, I grab one of the two cups, fill it, secure the lid, and give it to the little man. I spun around and realize....

People, I did all this BEFORE I took my night meds.

The fuck?

P.S. I can laugh about it now but at the time? So not funny. I mean really, who hides fruit from a girl?

P.P.S. Don't forget about my Gyro Bowl giveaway at my other blog: 2 Much Testosterone.